Posted by: Don Bemis | May 29, 2014

Killer Animals of Death

It was my turn to give the safety presentation at work today…

Killer Animals of Death

  • Possum
    • Immune to snakebite and rabies.
    • Only live about 4 years due to parasites and taste for road kill.
    • Fifty teeth, more than any other mammal.
    • Rotten disposition.
  • Raccoon
    • Cute, but not cuddly.
    • They don’t like you.
    • Carry rabies and other diseases.
    • Sort of housebroken; will go where you least want them to.  Cleanup is a health hazard.
    • Local Nature Center would not rehabilitate raccoons for safety reasons.
  • Mole
    • Dangerous to grubs.
    • Also dangerous to Type “A” gardeners with high blood pressure.
    • In your efforts to rid your lawn of this peril, don’t endanger the pets & kids.
  • Bambi
    • Large.
    • Social, but oblivious, like texting teenagers.  If you see one, expect more.
    • Poor road manners.
    • Illogical when in rut.
  • Bullwinkle
    • Even larger.
    • Superiority complex.
    • Grouchy.
    • High center of gravity.  In a crash, half a ton of meat is coming your way.
    • Thankfully, they don’t live in our part of Michigan.
  • Skunk
    • A kind of weasel.
    • Fearless.
    • Significant rabies vector in the Southwest.
    • It’s safer to stink than swerve, but try telling that to your steering wheel.
  • Red-Winged Blackbird
    • Highly territorial.
    • Aggressive during nesting season.
    • Nest along some of the prettiest running paths.
  • Turkey
    • Large.
    • Familiarity breeds contempt.  Feed them, and they will feel familiar.
    • Congregate in trees.
    • Not housebroken.
    • Bad news for motorcyclists.

They don’t care about your safety.

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